It’s not so bad being trendy…

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I guess Friday has unofficially become my official HEY DUMMY, WRITE A BLOG POST TODAY day. As Rebecca Black once said, “Gotta get down on Friday.” Therefore, GO GO GADGET BLOG POST!

Merrr, it’s Friday (clearly) and I’m currently sitting in my kitchen, wide awake at 10:15 am. I’ve already grocery shopped and made a badass breakfast with a nice little reminder to smile… I like happy food.

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Due to my incessant need to check my phone for no reason whatsoever, I spent most of my time at the grocery store this morning confused as to whether my phone was telling me it was 8:30 am or pm. That’s what happens when a night owl tries to be a morning person; major confusion.

look-at-this-bird-making-pasta

Somewhere down the road, I came to the conclusion that pasta dishes are simply too easy to make (because they are), and if I cook, I should present myself with more of a challenge. I think that may just be my DNA making me feel the necessity to do more work than necessary (Thanks Dad! Hi Dad!). Regardless, pretty much any task I complete is a challenge so I guess that doesn’t mean much. While I was home over Christmas, I made my parents the Thai Red Curry recipe that I blogged about last month. I think my stepmom enjoyed watching my uphill battle with cooking just a pinch more than she enjoyed the meal. Understandable though, incredibly understandable.

The hardest part about pasta is waiting for the water to boil BEFORE putting the noodles in the pot. I put my time in as the baby of the Brady Bunch Family making Ramen Noodles and Macaroni and Cheese for my older siblings. So, in addition to being a bossta pasta maker, I’ve also mastered the art of checking to see if the noodles are ready.

*OFFICIAL* How to Verify if Pasta is Ready: Take a noodle out of the pot and throw it at the wall. If it sticks, done and dine! If it doesn’t thennnn wait a minute and repeat until it does stick. That’s how chefs do it too, right?

I have to warn you that this recipe is what I would classify as “trendy”. Chicken sausage, brussels sprouts, pesto… if this meal were a person, it’d be wearing prescription-less thick-rimmed RayBans, have a bike rack for a fixed gear bike mounted on a VW Jetta and live in Wicker Park loft. That’s really only an assumption though. Speaking of being trendy, here’s a song to enjoy while you read the remainder of my post, and a blast from the past:

I found this recipe on Pinterest (again) and was not disappointed. You only need a few ingredients too, it’s genius. Trying to impress people with your skillz? Try this recipe on for size. Here is the link to the creator of this masterpiece… she deserves a medal. Super simple. So good. Seriously, I bought more ingredients to make it when I was at the grocery store today. That was also partially due to the fact that I have an entire container of pesto with no home to give it. And, because brussels sprouts. It wasn’t until I attempted [and failed] to write this post a few days ago that I realized there is an S after brussel. Silent S ruining‘ muh spell in

Look at how weird B. Sprouts look when they're born.
Look at how weird B. Sprouts look when they’re born.

Here are the ingredients that you will need:

  • 1 lb fresh brussels sprouts, ends trimmed and any yellowed/browned outer leaves removed, then sliced in half
  • 3 Tbsp. olive oil, divided (didn’t measure)
  • 1/2 tsp. Kosher salt (definitely didn’t measure)
  • 1/2 tsp. freshly-ground black pepper (ummm yup, didn’t measure)
  • 1 lb (16 oz.) orecchiette (or any pasta)
  • 4 chicken sausage links, sliced into 1/4″ thick coins (whatever flavor you prefer! so many options.)
  • 5 cloves garlic, peeled and thinly sliced (I used a spoonful minced garlic because I’m a lazy ass.)
  • 1/3 cup pesto (bought a fresh container of it again, because I’m a lazy ass…  but also there was a 2 for 1 deal, how could I say no?)
  • Parmesan cheese, for serving

See what I’m saying? Simple grocery list. Now, let me cover the steps here:

  1.  Preheat the oven to 400 degrees AND start heating a large pot of water on the stove.
  2.  Mix prepped brussels sprouts in bowl with enough olive oil to lightly coat them, and salt and pepper. In addition, I mixed in a little honey because the sugar caramelizes on the b. sprouts making them that much tastier.
  3. Spread b. sprouts on cookie sheet and put in oven to roast for around 25 minutes. It kinda depends on the batch, make sure you stir them half way through and take them out when the edges start getting dark.
  4.  Meanwhile, cook the chicken sausage in the largest skillet you’ve got. The bigger the better. Cook it until both sides are browned. (It’s typically precooked, so you don’t have to worry about cooking to a certain temperature.)
  5. At some point, your water started boiling and I sure hope you added those noodles. I cooked mine for about 9 minutes. Don’t drain all the water! Save a little bit (1/4 cup) to mix in to the final product.
  6. When your brussels sprouts are done, add all of the ingredients (sausage, pesto, pasta, garlic, brussels) to your large skillet and stir until you cry from happiness. It shouldn’t take long to reach that point, I guarantee it.
  7. Put it on a plate all pretty-like, add some cheese, snap a picture and post it to Facebook and make people wish they were more than just Facebook friends with you.
  8. Like this one!Like this one!

    Enjoy!

It takes probably about 45 minutes from beginning to end. Possibly less depending on your agility, speed, hunger and mental state. This recipe yields between 4 and 6 servings depending on how hungry you are and what you consider a reasonable serving of heaven in your mouth.

The only thing I would like to change for the next time I prepare this is make my own pesto. I avoided making it for this pasta due to the fact that I don’t own a food processor and it’s really a necessity. Last time I made pesto, I thought I could blend everything in my mini blender and boy, was I wrong. I minced and minced forever and my entire right arm was sore for an embarrassing amount of time afterwards. If ya got a food processor though, you’re set. Pine nuts, basil, olive oil and you’re good to go homie.

Welp, that’s all I’ve got. Time to go enjoy le my night with Sir Jamesons and friends. Have a fabulous weekend and if you make/eat this ever, let me know because then I’ll love you more than I already do for being a reader of mine. Cheers!

And finally, inappropriate poo-related content found on a website titled “The Poop Thesaurus“:

aeolian deposit: stain left after an overly ambitious fart

Gross. Bye.

 

 

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