Warning: this post contains nuts.

I’ve got balls on the brain.

Yes, you read that correctly. Balls.

I feel like there’s a stigma around edible ball-shaped objects. For obvious reasons, yes. So as a preemptive precaution, please watch this tasteful SNL skit to get the obvious ball jokes out of the way.

I absolutely suck at waking up to an alarm. Correction, I suck at waking up in general. Any questions? Ask my family, friends, roommates, teachers and past/present employers. I believe they would unanimously agree on that statement.

Because I do suck at waking up, I very rarely have the chance to make myself breakfast—shit, I barely have a chance to shower and get ready for the day before I’m running late somewhere, once again. I probably shouldn’t be so open about how much I suck in case a potential employer were ever reading this (lol jk), but I promise you, this is going somewhere.


As I very slowly blossom into an “adult”, I’ve begun to realize how wonderful breakfast is and how missing breakfast really, really sucks. But so does eating something that will make you hungry in 45 minutes. It’s really a double edged sword. You end up hangry regardless and no one likes a hangry human.

Guys, I think I found the answer. The perfect snack/breakfast/dessert for the person on the go. For the person who “can’t cook or bake.” For the person who wants life to be as simple as it can be in the morning: energy balls. I’ve seen people post about these on Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, their carrier pigeons and every other form of social media and I was always like, meh.

Boy, I was an idiot. Never underestimate the power of balls.

I found the recipe on this website here and followed it nearly word for word. Here’s the recipe and directions from that site:


    • 1 cup quick cooking oats
    • 1/2 cup all natural peanut butter
    • 1/3 cup honey
    • 1 cup coconut flakes
    • 1/2 cup milled flaxseed
    • 1 tsp vanilla
    • 1/2 cup mini chocolate chips (optional)


      1. Add all dry ingredients in a bowl and mix together.
      2. Add wet ingredients to dry and stir well so that everything sticks.
      3. Refrigerate for 30 minutes to make it easier to roll into small bite size balls.
      4. Pop two or three (if you can stop there) of these babies every morning for an extra boost of energy!
      5. Store in an airtight container in the fridge.

The first time I made these, I tried one and the only word I could utter was amazeballs. I really can’t stand that word, but it was a natural, involuntary reaction. They’re so good. Like, you don’t even have to bake them or use a stove at all. Amazeballs (ugh). I haven’t tried making them without chocolate chips for obvious reasons. I put dark chocolate chips in there, just normal sized because dgaf.

So the instructions for this include a serving size of 2-3 balls, which seems like a bit of a joke. Usually what I do is have 3 in the morning and bring 1 or 2 for the moment when it’s not lunch time yet but I need food. Since I made these 3 weeks ago, I’ve made them 3 times – keeping them in my fridge at all times waiting for pretty much any occasion that gives me an excuse to eat them. They’re so much cheaper and easier to eat than Cliff bars or whatever other granola business you be eatin’, they’re easy to make, and they taste like sweet baby Yeezus himself blessed them.


These come with high recommendation by those I’ve forced to try them and obviously, myself.

Happy Spring everyone… we made it! WE MADE IT!

Obligatory Poop Fact (click here for the website):

“Should you one day travel to the Moon, in addition to memorials to those fallen in the space race, you will also find 96 bags full of the astronauts’ waste— plenty of urine, feces, and vomit that would have been far too expensive to return to the surface of the Earth, especially given the fact that hundreds of pounds of moon rock had been gathered.”

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