8 days ago, I was confident that I’d come to this blog with a new found life skill and infinite wisdom to share with anyone I either forced to read this, or who was bored enough to open this link and read it (sucker). I accrued this new level of confidence when I walked into a Vietnamese Grocery store 8 days ago and purchased a bamboo sushi rolling mat. I gained more confidence as I walked into the Jewel Osco with a list and spent way too much money on out of season fruit. I gained even more confidence as I followed the steps to making Frushi from a set of .gifs my boyfriend found on a Rising post in imgur. I grew the most confident as I cooked the sushi rice for 20 minutes, then added the lite coconut milk, vanilla extract and sugar. My confidence then reached its peak as I cut into the most beautiful pineapple I’ve ever laid my mouth on, and it hit me, “Holy shit, this is gonna be amazing.”
…and that’s when everything went to shit.
Just so you know, rolling sushi has a very explicitly steep learning curve. Like, if you’re not prepared to climb Mt. Everest, GTFO kind of steep. This could be dramatic. I could just be really bad at rolling sushi. I honestly thought it wouldn’t be that hard. But it was. It was very hard. My presence on the Sushi rolling learning curve chart is equivalent to those students in Elementary School who made the yearbook by being listed as “Not Pictured.”
Needless to say, I now understand why Sushi Chefs (say that 5 times fast, I dare you) are chefs, and I will leave that department of expertise to them. If you’re now curious about Frushi, I fell in love with it at Orange (Roscoe Village Yelp Link). It’s a delicious brunch place with multiple locations and ORANGE FLAVORED COFFEE. I REPEAT, ORANGE FLAVORED COFFEE. Yes, it is good. So is the food.
This post in not about Frushi. Since it’s my fall back plan, I’m literally going to trip into a fall favorite of mine. Buffin Cakes. Anyone who has lived with me, worked with me, known me long enough to know about Buffin Cakes, you’re welcome. I’ve been making them for years. For those who don’t know what a Buffin Cake is, let me explain.
I found this recipe in one of the Sartell Centennial something or another community recipe books years back. It’s Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread. HNNNNG, ammirite? I made it and doubled the recipe. Poor choice on my behalf because this recipe yields like 37,000 times what it says it does in the book itself. So here I am, all my loaf pans used up and still a bowl full of batter, so I start putting them in muffin tins. I would delegate batter to one tin. Then delegate batter to my mouth. Then repeat until I’d eaten enough raw egg to contract E-coli and the muffin tins were full and ready to bake. That’s is when I realized I should have been doing the muffin delegation the whole time.
THE BREAKDOWN OF THE BUFFIN CAKE
- B: Bread, it’s technically pumpkin bread
- UFFIN: Muffin, I put them in muffin tins, simple as that
- CAKE: Sweet baby Jesus reincarnated, these taste like sinful cakes (because really, that’s what they are)
It’s perfect because then you don’t have to share your lil buffin cake, and you don’t feel guilty about eating 7, even though that’s probably equivalent to a full loaf.
So here’s the recipe:
Noel Blais, u da real MVP. Thank you for creating this fine recipe that’s gotten me through holidays, stressful times, delicious times and sugar cravings. The only things I do different to save me any fraction of guilt is only put 2 cups of sugar in the bowl. Even with that, they’re still super sweet. I also never measure the chocolate chips because my intuition and spiritual connection with chocolate measures that out for me. I also have never added the pecans because too many people in my life can’t handle their nuts.
This time of year is ridiculous. Pumpkin spice everything under the sun. I bought sugar-free, fat-free pumpkin spice coffee creamer thinking I was doing good for myself and nearly puked. But I love pumpkin nonetheless. I love spice. I love North Face Jackets and honestly, I think Uggs keep my poorly circulated feet warmer than any other shoe (though I don’t actually own a pair or a North Face). It’s Thanksgiving month. Get basic. Get pumpkin spice and everything nice unapologetically. Instagram your stupid red Starbucks coffee cup with your stupid “Merry Christmas” as your name before Thanksgiving has even passed. We all know that’s what Jesus wanted anyway.
So there you have it. Many people have asked me for this recipe. There is it. It’s yours now. Make it for your family this Thanksgiving and don’t forget to be thankful and to embrace all the lovely things and people you have in your life. I know I’m beyond thankful for the life I’m living. How did I get to be so fortunate? My heart is so full, and in 16 days, so will my stomach, painfully so.