When I was in my prime as an angst-filled youth, I wrote myself a note. It said that if I
made it to 28, everything in life would fall into place. It promised all would be peachy and perfect, my issues would be minimal and I could eat ice cream for dinner without requiring 17 Tums and
2 subsequent hours on the toilet.
I’m 28 now.
While I find this memory predominantly cringeworthy — and lofty, might I add — it gave Angstine (new nickname) that tiny pinch of motivation she needed to continue on livin’. I’ve made it this far, so I probably shouldn’t let her down.
I got into bed on Monday night and could not fall asleep. I blame the Coke Zero I had with dinner. It seemed like a good idea in the moment. If nothing else, it was delicious. Curse you, caffeine! My kryptonite.
Maybe I should change my social media handle to @caffeinekryptonite. Sounds dark and mysterious – Angstine would probably approve. Though, in reality, it’s likely just me sitting silently at a table quietly consuming caffeine.
On the upside of the whole not sleeping thing, my insomnia was not solely anxiety-driven. In fact, I didn’t even spend the next 2 hours overthinking every decision I’ve made and/or interaction I’ve encountered in the last 5,000 hours. I consider this a win because it’s a fairly common occurrence given the crippling, unrealistic standards of perfection I hold myself to. Love ya, anxiety!
As 2017 comes to a close, I can proudly say that I embraced the cliche, “New Year, New You.” I changed my diet and dropped a few pants sizes, started seeing a therapist and treating my anxiety, and began a career path that I’m genuinely excited about. I finally feel like I’m beginning to take control of the parts of my life I can and am [very slowly] learning to let go of the parts I can’t. It’s empowering and thrilling, albeit difficult. Now, on the subject of taking control, there’s plenty of room for improvement, but that’s what New Year’s Resolutions are for!
QUEUE NEXT CLICHE: #adulting.
Instead, I made a plan. A plan to take #adulting to the next level and leave Angstine to roll in her grave. Here it is: I want to be better.
Specific, right? Really, though. I need to be better. Better to myself, with money, with exercise, as a daughter/sister/aunt, as a dog mom, as a girlfriend, as a contributor to society, with my health, etc, etc. You know, just, better or as some would say, better at #adulting. I fleshed out a plan for the entirety of 2018, month-by-month, week-by-week and I want to bring you on the journey with me.
While I find the whole millennials celebrating #adulting thing rather nauseating, my distaste for it is nothing compared to Todd’s. If you’re craving a 3 minute, passion-filled rant, complete a simple task in front of him and tell him you’re proud of how you adulted – I can assure you, it will be your favorite 3 minutes you’ll spend that day.
I have enough self awareness to know that in order to set and execute a single New Years Resolution successfully, it needs to be simple. In 2015, I gave up french fries because it was incredibly specific and fairly easy to avoid. This time, I’m making a different resolution for each month.
The resolutionary theme for each month is as follows:
January – Budgeting
February – Minimalism/Decluttering
March – Alcohol Free
April – Routines and Productivity
May – Dog Training
June – Less Social Media, More Social Experiences
July – Fitness and Exercise
August – Health and Self Care
September – Relationships
October – Creative Outlets
November – Volunteering and Giving Back
December – Review the Year
Upon review of the original list I created in my iPhone notes at midnight, I realized that I completely ignored May as a month. Apparently, May 2018 does not exist in my future brain. So long, Justin Timberlake memes! Peace out, Memorial Day! We’ve got a new May in town and its name is June.
Like all average improvisers, I improvised and added May back into my 2018. Bet you didn’t see that one coming. I moved some pieces around and now, 12 months are set. 2018 is chalking up to be one hell of a year.
Here are 10 things you can expect from me while the year progresses:
- Transparency. I’ll say some thing that I will likely be embarrassed about and want to flee if you bring it up to me in person, but this is important for accountability and success.
- Naughty words. If you don’t like that shit, ye hast been warned.
- New content. A minimum of 1 post each week. Remember how I called my goals lofty?
- Fun. I’m hoping I have a blast, but we’ll see. Refer back to numbers 1 & 2. I’ll let you know what I liked and what worked.
- Failure and anger. Like, a lot. There’s a very good chance that I will get bored and abandon my sweet, innocent little blog that did nothing to deserve my wrath in the process. If you’re reading this, you have permission to call me out and hold me accountable.
- Pictures. Lots of pictures. Progress pics, dog pics, food pics, life pics. Maybe a screenshot or 3, maybe a selfie or 7.
- Change. I mean, that’s natural with the progression of time, but also worth mentioning.
- Typos and grammatical errors. I’m trying to be a better person not fucking Ernest Hemingway.
- Planning. Truthfully the whole reason I decided to start this journey is because I love researching and planning. It’s the execution I struggle with.
- Your participation. Tried any of these? I want to hear from you! What worked? What didn’t? Want to partake in any of the months with me? OMG PLEASE. I’ll break down each month, week by week, so tighten your belt.
Next week, I’ll flesh out my budget. I’ll probably cry a lot between then and now because debt is sad. Saving instead of spending is sad. Growing up is sad. Great, now I’m sad.
See you next week.